随笔 时间:2017-06-19 我要投稿




  The silence of men in general is overtalked about and overcriticized.

  To be sure, men never open up as much as women want them to, but there is a wordless understanding in which we function fairly well especially in friendships.



  I believe, in fact, that most women would prefer a man to be glumlyuncommunicative than to spill his guts at the drop of a hat.


  The push for men to express their feelings presumes that we have feelings, and we do have a few, but they remain submerged, and the airing of them often violates their authenticity.



  I am no biologist, but my guess is that the male human animal was programmed for silence.

  I would go so far as to argue that men were programmed to be isolated from one another and that aloneness is our natural state.

  Silence in male friendships is our way of being alone with each other.




  Once men have established a friendship, that itself is the word. The affection is obvious, at least to us. A main component of our silence is an appreciation of the obvious.




  Just like a band or gang of superheroes needs members who have different talents and powers, a circle of friends should have exactly the same thing.

  It's important to have diversity and to be able to look for support from a variety of sources. They also help us to keep broader perspective on life。



  You need different types of friends in the same way that you need food from different food groups.

  Different types of friends serve different purposes and nourish and enrich our lives in different ways。



  While many of us are lucky to count our real friends on one hand, there are certain types of people it’s good to have around. So, how many do you know?



  1. The friend who is cooler than you比你更酷的朋友

  The world changes quickly and some people are just that little bit better at keeping up with what's hip than we are.

  Like those friends who know that NO ONE EVER says "hip" any more, for instance. We like to be around these people, because they're a beacon of cool. Cool things just flock to them.




  These are the people who help you to open your eyes, have a flow-on effect for introducing you to other cool people and help to unstick yourself from the rut that's all too easy to get bogged in.

  These people enrich your life by exposing you to things that may have otherwise have passed you by。



  2. The friend who is up for anything时刻待命的朋友

  People are busy, we get it. But there's nothing more frustrating than having to reschedule your re-re-re-scheduled catch-up.

  Everyone needs a friend who you can call at the drop of a hat.

  A friend who says "hell yeah, I'm up for that".

  That's why it's good to have a mate who you don't need to issue a 28-day notice to just to meet for a frappuccino. It's refreshing (the friend, that is, not necessarily the frappuccino。


  每个人都需要一个随叫随到的朋友,他会对你说:“嗨,我就来。” 我们不需要为了一杯咖啡提前28天预约,这就是拥有这类朋友的好处,这令人感到愉快。


  This friend is the flexible, no frills friend who makes your life a breeze.

  Nothing is ever too hard and they're open to doing new things and changing plans at short notice. Their enthusiasm is contagious and you always have more fun when they are around。




  3. The friend who you aspire to be 令你渴望成为他那种人的朋友

  Oprah Winfrey once said: "Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher". And we all need to live life a little bit closer to Oprah.

  These people challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The only downside is that sometimes they can be infuriating

  and inspiring in equal measure. This friend is only an important role model if they behave in ways that are authentic and genuine. They will see the best in you and give you important feedback on both your strengths and weaknesses.

  "奥普拉·温弗瑞曾说:“和那些可以让你提升自己的人在一起。” 我们都需要像奥普拉那样生活。




  4. The friend who doesn't know any of your other friends与你其他朋友不相干的朋友

  We like integration. We like killing two birds with one stone by catching up with several groups of friends at once.

  But there are times when you need to make an S.O.S call to a friend who is completely uninvolved and removed from a situation who can offer objective advice

  so it a bonus that your friendship exists without orbiting around your other ones.




  There is a level of privacy to this friendship that doesn't exist in friendship circles.

  It will be easier to share some of your hopes and dreams, fears and concerns knowing that they are not going to be discussed when you're not around。



  5. The friend who is painfully honest犀利却诚实的朋友

  An honest friend will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they'll certainly tell you what you need to know like if he/she is really that into you.

  When you've got a crisis on your hands or need to make a quick decision they are your go-to. They're also there to keep you away from mixing paisleys and stripes.




  This type of friend has the strength of feedback and is a pearl who will tell it to you straight when others won't or will sugarcoat things at the very least. This friend is someone who does it with good intentions and for your own benefit。



  6. The friend you've known than you've known yourself了解你更胜于你了解自己的朋友

  History. Sometimes it works to your advantage, other times it doesn't. This is that friend who sees you out of the context of your job,

  your relationship, your other friends and your life as it is now. This is the friend who knew you when you had pimples and a bowl cut.




  There is something special about this person because they feel like home. It's nice and comforting to be around someone who has known you forever.